The Technology of Home Alone
How would a modern Kevin McCallister defend his home?
Imagine if Kevin McCallister had some smart tech to defend his home from the wet bandits.
Yes, humor me here as I take a moment to examine the smart home technology that existed in 1990 versus 2022. And it's safe to say that I may be spoiling a 30+-year-old holiday classic movie so do stop reading if you've somehow never seen the film. Could a modern-day Home Alone scenario really take place today? In the words of Kevin McCallister to the nosy grocery store clerk..."I don't think so".
How Kevin was left home
Let's first look at the unfortunate sequence of events that initially caused the poor lad to be left home alone.
The family was planning on an early departure to catch their flight to Paris. In today's world, you would think that each adult (and maybe even some of the kids) would have had some sort of high-tech alarm set to insure they wouldn't oversleep. Now I've written about how I don't recommend using a phone as an alarm clock, but in a house with that many people, surely a phone alarm would have gone off somewhere. I can't envision a world today (or even in 1990) when a whole house of people would have overslept. Even if Kevin's parents relied on the old alarm clock made useless by a power outage, someone else in the house would have stirred them awake.
Ok, so let's say that there is a world in which they manage to leave the house without young Kevin in tow. The other major snafu in the modern home Alone scenario would have to do with security at the airport. The airport is a much more high-tech and high-security place than it was in 1990. You can chalk this up to pre-911 easy, breezy security rules, but it's likely that the family would come across something in the airport today that caused them to notice Kevin was missing.
Obviously, everyone going on this trip would have a mobile phone today and Kevin could have probably given someone a ring as soon as he woke up and realized the house was deserted. Of course, since he was so upset with his family, there is a good chance that he wouldn't want to call them. His newfound freedom gives him a sense of independence that kids often don't have today. The early 90s were the waning years (at least in America) of the parenting style that allowed kids to roam around on their own without much supervision.
Kevin’s Modern Funhouse
All right, let's get to the fun part, shall we? How would Kevin be better equipped to protect his not-so-humble abode with today's technology? Cameras are the obvious thing. In today's world, he would likely monitor any potential intruders using an app on his home. Old Man McCallister surely would have sprung for a pricey security package from ADT, Simplisafe, or my personal choice, Google's Nest secure. Macaulay Culkin also did a fantastic commercial a few years back showing how things may have been different with Google Assistant.
So Kevin could track the movements of the wet bandits through an elaborate security cam setup. But for argument's sake, let's just assume that the bandits made it inside the house anyway. Would Kevin still use many of the low-tech shenanigans that he employed in the original movie? Maybe. Some of his stunts are just classic uses for simple machines. The pendulum paint can swing just makes perfect sense (let's just disregard asking how Kevin was able to attach the cans to the ceiling or how he knew the exact heights of the robbers to nail them in the head with the swinging cans).
The stunt he pulls with the VCR and "Angels with Filthy Souls" (sadly not a real movie) sound effects is pretty clever. The real question is if a tiny TV built in the 80s would have the power to blast audio loud and realistic enough to fool grown men into thinking they've come under siege. I think it would have been a stretch back then, but the audio quality has gotten much better these days. The modern McCallister house would likely have Dolby Atmos Surround Sound capabilities to make Pesci and Stern jump out of their skin! And with all of the digital audio assistants, he could make a conversation with Snakes seem even more realistic.
I could go on and on about each of the traps Kevin sets, but it's likely that most of them would still be relatively useful today. Maybe the biggest difference between Kevin and the modern kid is how connected they are. Whether you approve or not, most modern kids in 2022 have phones, computers, tablets, and all sorts of ways to connect with their friends.
Even if today's Kevin was a complete loner, he likely would have reached out to at least one friend to brag about how he made his family disappear. And that kid would have likely blabbed to his parents about it causing the whole scenario to be cleaned up fairly quickly. I guess I'm saying that the modern child living in a modern home is less likely to be so isolated. Perhaps if they lived in a really remote part of the country it could work, but Kevin is taking a leisurely stroll to buy a toothbrush, he doesn't live in the boonies.
Thanks for taking a quick jog down memory lane with one of my favorite holiday films. As much as I love technology, I do find that it makes for lazy filmmaking sometimes. We had to just accept the absurdity of Kevin McCallister's scenario at the time and appreciate his ingenuity.
May we all have a happy and healthy holiday season and maybe leave a few micro-machines or broken Christmas ornaments under every window of your house just to be safe!
Thanks for reading, I’ll see you next week!
P.S. - Hey, it’s almost the end of the year! Could you use some help reviewing what worked for you this year and what could be better for 2023? Need some help building positive habits or ditching negative ones? Iterating on a new business idea and need some guidance? Or maybe you just want to say hello and pick my brain for a bit, that’s fine too! If you’d like to chat, feel free to book some time with me here!